I remember the day I realized I was getting a divorce. "I can't get another divorce...not again," I thought. Instantly, I had flashbacks to the aftermath of my first divorce. I was not ready to be relegated back to eating at the table of failure and wearing the crown of shame. As the memories twirled around me, suddenly I heard a voice that said, " look up". I looked up above my circumstances and looked into the eyes of my Heavenly Father.
He said, I so love you (John 15:9) and you are My child (Romans 8:16). You have been sanctified (John 17:17), justified, and glorified (Romans 8:30). You are not under the law but under My grace (Romans 6:14) and you are My precious precious child (Romans 8:16).
I saw that I had a choice of two paths, one of lies and oppression or one of truth and my Father would be there to walk it out with me -- holding my hand tightly. I realized that my reality was changing but my identity in Him could not be shaken.
Am I saying God likes divorce? Nope I am not...divorce equals division and this is not a part of the character of God...He is a God of multiplication. What I am saying is that my actions do not change the view God has of me. He loves me...I am his absolute favorite forever! We must carry this revelation in our hearts as we face the future. Walking through divorce is difficult but with our faithful Father loving on us...our broken hearts and wounds are healed completely. Do not allow others to put their religious ideologies upon you but look to your Daddy in heaven. Look deep into His eyes...He so adores you and he is inviting you to eat at His table wearing a crown of hope.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Discussion - Loneliness
This post is a place to discuss loneliness. There are many unforseen consequences of a seperation and/or divorce that suddenly hit you at some point. One of those that hit me within days is being alone. Loneliness can really bring you "down" quickly.
Please feel free to share where you are now in regards to loneliness or how you managed through loneliness in the past. Maybe you have a great book or website that helped point you in the right direction. Maybe you are struggeling and need some help because being alone has become a dark cloud in your life that you cant seem to escape.
King David was no stranger to loneliness:
Psa 25:16 "Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely...."
Psa 102:7 "l lie awake; I have become like a bird alone on a roof."
Psa 142:4 "Look to my right and see; no one is concerned for me. I have no refuge; no one cares for my life."
Please feel free to share where you are now in regards to loneliness or how you managed through loneliness in the past. Maybe you have a great book or website that helped point you in the right direction. Maybe you are struggeling and need some help because being alone has become a dark cloud in your life that you cant seem to escape.
King David was no stranger to loneliness:
Psa 25:16 "Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely...."
Psa 102:7 "l lie awake; I have become like a bird alone on a roof."
Psa 142:4 "Look to my right and see; no one is concerned for me. I have no refuge; no one cares for my life."
Intro - My Aim For This Blog
Today was my last day in attending my Divorce Support Group. I have been apart of this group on and off for over 4 years and have benefited immensely. I leave on more solid footing then when I entered. I will never forget the first few weeks of the group. I kept my mouth shut and simply watched a group of people tell their horrid stories. Stories of hurt, pain, confusion, loss, grief, anger, disbelieve, abandonment and did I mention ANGER. These people were a mess! It was like walking into an emergency room and hanging out to watch those in pure agony. I shouldn't be in this room, with these people! What was I thinking coming to a group of sick and obviously disturbed people. It wasn't until the 3rd or 4th week did I realize that I was bleeding and needed help, urgently. I realized I was one of them. I realized I belonged to this group. I needed this group and started my journey towards healing.
I have been given so much by being apart of the group. I am grateful to the facilitators as well as those who have help me through dire times. I have grown and now stand on firmer ground. I want to share what I have learned and more importantly I want to provide a place to give aide as well receive aide.
Leaving the group doesn't mean I don't need them. I am hoping to keep in touch with them in the "real world" but I am hoping a few if not all of them will join me here online. I am hoping to have others (you, the reader) join us. I am hoping to do what our facilitators did for me. I am hoping to share the hope I now have. Yes the clouds have stopped pouring rain and I see daylight. There is HOPE! By helping others I also contribute to my healing. Let me be honest, I am way further along then I was 4 years ago but I still have a ways to go. I know one of the ways to help "take off" my pain is to "put on" giving to others.
Simply put, "my aim is to bring aide and comfort to those who are hurting due to separation or divorce".
My plan is to provide care in the form of biblical advice, discuss practical issues such as loneliness, children, book reviews, and "how to" articles such as economical ways of finalizing a divorce." A "divorce coach" will also be contributing her wealth of knowledge on the subject of divorce and another friend who will be providing the in's and out's of the court system.
In addition I invite you, those going through the process of separation or divorce, to participate and feel free to read, comment, share a resource and/or submit a posting (article). All I ask is that we all remember we are all at different stages of the process and that we speak truth with grace.
My aim is to serve Him by loving them!
Cris
P.S. Take a moment to read the 24th Psalm below. This Psalms follows the more known 23rd Psalm (The Lord is my shepherd).
To God be the glory in all that we do.
---------------------
Psalm 24
A psalm of David.
1 The earth is the LORD's, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it;
2 for he founded it upon the seas and established it upon the waters.
3 Who may ascend the hill of the LORD? Who may stand in his holy place?
4 He who has clean hands and a pure heart, who does not lift up his soul to an idol or swear by what is false.
5 He will receive blessing from the LORD and vindication from God his Savior.
6 Such is the generation of those who seek him, who seek your face, O God of Jacob. Selah
7 Lift up your heads, O you gates; be lifted up, you ancient doors, that the King of glory may come in.
8 Who is this King of glory? The LORD strong and mighty, the LORD mighty in battle.
9 Lift up your heads, O you gates; lift them up, you ancient doors, that the King of glory may come in.
10 Who is he, this King of glory? The LORD Almighty—he is the King of glory. Selah
I have been given so much by being apart of the group. I am grateful to the facilitators as well as those who have help me through dire times. I have grown and now stand on firmer ground. I want to share what I have learned and more importantly I want to provide a place to give aide as well receive aide.
Leaving the group doesn't mean I don't need them. I am hoping to keep in touch with them in the "real world" but I am hoping a few if not all of them will join me here online. I am hoping to have others (you, the reader) join us. I am hoping to do what our facilitators did for me. I am hoping to share the hope I now have. Yes the clouds have stopped pouring rain and I see daylight. There is HOPE! By helping others I also contribute to my healing. Let me be honest, I am way further along then I was 4 years ago but I still have a ways to go. I know one of the ways to help "take off" my pain is to "put on" giving to others.
Simply put, "my aim is to bring aide and comfort to those who are hurting due to separation or divorce".
My plan is to provide care in the form of biblical advice, discuss practical issues such as loneliness, children, book reviews, and "how to" articles such as economical ways of finalizing a divorce." A "divorce coach" will also be contributing her wealth of knowledge on the subject of divorce and another friend who will be providing the in's and out's of the court system.
In addition I invite you, those going through the process of separation or divorce, to participate and feel free to read, comment, share a resource and/or submit a posting (article). All I ask is that we all remember we are all at different stages of the process and that we speak truth with grace.
My aim is to serve Him by loving them!
Cris
P.S. Take a moment to read the 24th Psalm below. This Psalms follows the more known 23rd Psalm (The Lord is my shepherd).
To God be the glory in all that we do.
---------------------
Psalm 24
A psalm of David.
1 The earth is the LORD's, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it;
2 for he founded it upon the seas and established it upon the waters.
3 Who may ascend the hill of the LORD? Who may stand in his holy place?
4 He who has clean hands and a pure heart, who does not lift up his soul to an idol or swear by what is false.
5 He will receive blessing from the LORD and vindication from God his Savior.
6 Such is the generation of those who seek him, who seek your face, O God of Jacob. Selah
7 Lift up your heads, O you gates; be lifted up, you ancient doors, that the King of glory may come in.
8 Who is this King of glory? The LORD strong and mighty, the LORD mighty in battle.
9 Lift up your heads, O you gates; lift them up, you ancient doors, that the King of glory may come in.
10 Who is he, this King of glory? The LORD Almighty—he is the King of glory. Selah
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